One more thing I forgot to add.
The Boiler Room is doing 24/7 prayer this week and I got the chance to go in after community prayer for 3.5 hours last night.
It was probably the greatest time I've ever spent one-on-one with God, ever.
Transforming. That's all I can say about it.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sweetly Broken
Just as I told Brooke last night, there are no words that are able to accurately describe the feelings that I have right now.
I am in awe and am so amazed. There will never be a single word or even numerous words to describe God's greatness.
Yesterday something in me changed. Hearing Rod talk about Living Water and Stale Water just hit me so hard. I felt so much like God was speaking directly to me saying, "Jenna!! Wake up! You are drinking from the wrong kind of water." And I was. What an upsetting yet humbling thing for me to see where I was lacking in my life of following Christ. I am so ashamed for fitting every single one of the characteristics of what life was like drinking stale water.
I had been holding these negative feelings; feelings of anger and jealousy and envy and just plain hostility towards someone I didn't even know and letting all of these emotions distract me and get in my way of what I was supposed to be focusing on.
It had been going on for months, and I could not wake up one more day feeling like I had been for so long. It was eating away at me and taking me over. I had prayed so hard for something to happen to make these feelings go away but nothing was.
At last I realized that I needed to be willing to give everything up to the Lord so that He would be able to do with me what He wanted. So that's what I did, and that's what He did. All in one incredible hour.
I won't go into detail, but what happened last night was not something that any earthly person can do. It is purely God working his miracles. He heard my desperate cry. As Sarah Jayne said to me, I had a huge mountain in the way of me and God. He heard my cry and smashed it down so I was finally able to see once again, His beauty and majesty.
Satan tries SO HARD to get in the way of friendships and relationships by putting chains of negative feelings and emotions on us, and often times, those take over and we really do lose sight of how we should be living and treating others.
The battle is not over, but I am so glad that God showed his power and authority last night. I feel so changed, and renewed. I am dedicating my life to following Him and loving others the way He meant for us to. Satan will not win this.
I know that there is an amazing plan out there for me. One that I can not fathom, and way better than anything I could come up with on my own.
If you asked me 6 months ago where I thought I would be right now as far as my Faith and everything in my life, it definitely would not be where I am presently.
Thank GOD for that. I am SOO blessed and He has just filled me up with this amazing understanding and love that I've never experienced before.
Something awesome is happening and is going to keep happening. I can feel it.
I Can't Wait.
To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled
In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness
I am in awe and am so amazed. There will never be a single word or even numerous words to describe God's greatness.
Yesterday something in me changed. Hearing Rod talk about Living Water and Stale Water just hit me so hard. I felt so much like God was speaking directly to me saying, "Jenna!! Wake up! You are drinking from the wrong kind of water." And I was. What an upsetting yet humbling thing for me to see where I was lacking in my life of following Christ. I am so ashamed for fitting every single one of the characteristics of what life was like drinking stale water.
I had been holding these negative feelings; feelings of anger and jealousy and envy and just plain hostility towards someone I didn't even know and letting all of these emotions distract me and get in my way of what I was supposed to be focusing on.
It had been going on for months, and I could not wake up one more day feeling like I had been for so long. It was eating away at me and taking me over. I had prayed so hard for something to happen to make these feelings go away but nothing was.
At last I realized that I needed to be willing to give everything up to the Lord so that He would be able to do with me what He wanted. So that's what I did, and that's what He did. All in one incredible hour.
I won't go into detail, but what happened last night was not something that any earthly person can do. It is purely God working his miracles. He heard my desperate cry. As Sarah Jayne said to me, I had a huge mountain in the way of me and God. He heard my cry and smashed it down so I was finally able to see once again, His beauty and majesty.
Satan tries SO HARD to get in the way of friendships and relationships by putting chains of negative feelings and emotions on us, and often times, those take over and we really do lose sight of how we should be living and treating others.
The battle is not over, but I am so glad that God showed his power and authority last night. I feel so changed, and renewed. I am dedicating my life to following Him and loving others the way He meant for us to. Satan will not win this.
I know that there is an amazing plan out there for me. One that I can not fathom, and way better than anything I could come up with on my own.
If you asked me 6 months ago where I thought I would be right now as far as my Faith and everything in my life, it definitely would not be where I am presently.
Thank GOD for that. I am SOO blessed and He has just filled me up with this amazing understanding and love that I've never experienced before.
Something awesome is happening and is going to keep happening. I can feel it.
I Can't Wait.
To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled
In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness
Saturday, September 20, 2008
One More Thing...
I got a tattoo a few days ago.
I had been thinking about it for the past couple of years.
I woke up having an AWFUL day and my friend came to save me...
then she took me to get a tattoo.
So I got one.
And I LOVE it.
It was actually very empowering.
I'll post pics when I get some.
I had been thinking about it for the past couple of years.
I woke up having an AWFUL day and my friend came to save me...
then she took me to get a tattoo.
So I got one.
And I LOVE it.
It was actually very empowering.
I'll post pics when I get some.
Discontent
Sometimes I just don't really understand.
I put my whole life into something and try SO HARD to only focus on that one thing.
Things get better and everything seems to be falling into place;
then I fall backwards.
I don't understand how two weeks ago I felt a joy that I've never experienced before; A freedom from feeling tied down by all of my negative and anxious emotions.
I knew that it was a good decision we had made; That my life is so much better and fulfilled because of it.
But then this past week happened.
I don't know what changed or why it did.
But I couldn't do it anymore.
Waking up everyday and feeling amazing and great and happy wasn't happening.
Dead. Empty. Lonely.
That's what I got.
Too much time has gone by to still feel like this.
I'm so exhausted of it and can't go on feeling like this forever.
I look at other people and think, "if they can be ok, then i can be too."
I don't really believe it though.
Moving down to be near the Boiler Room has changed my life.
The relationships that I've formed with people,
The need for prayer in my life has been TRANSFOMING.
But still, I thought that my feeling of hurt would be gone.
Would you pray for me?
I don't think I can get through this on my own.
I put my whole life into something and try SO HARD to only focus on that one thing.
Things get better and everything seems to be falling into place;
then I fall backwards.
I don't understand how two weeks ago I felt a joy that I've never experienced before; A freedom from feeling tied down by all of my negative and anxious emotions.
I knew that it was a good decision we had made; That my life is so much better and fulfilled because of it.
But then this past week happened.
I don't know what changed or why it did.
But I couldn't do it anymore.
Waking up everyday and feeling amazing and great and happy wasn't happening.
Dead. Empty. Lonely.
That's what I got.
Too much time has gone by to still feel like this.
I'm so exhausted of it and can't go on feeling like this forever.
I look at other people and think, "if they can be ok, then i can be too."
I don't really believe it though.
Moving down to be near the Boiler Room has changed my life.
The relationships that I've formed with people,
The need for prayer in my life has been TRANSFOMING.
But still, I thought that my feeling of hurt would be gone.
Would you pray for me?
I don't think I can get through this on my own.
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