Cold Tangerines

I'm feeling a little bit better. My mom got home from work and dragged my butt out of bed and made me go to Outback with her, my aunt and my Grandma. Steak and garlic mashed potatoes will always cheer you up!! (well, unless you're a vegetarian i suppose) Maybe it's just my hilarious Grandma that did it for me.

Anyway, I've already read this book once, but I think it's time for me to open it back up because it is such a smart book and gives good advice for your life.

The book is called: Cold Tangerines, and it's by Shauna Niequist who is the wife of Aaron Niequist, whom some of you know as the previous piano player/worship leader/song writer from Mars Hill.

Let me just share a quote that gives you an insight as to what this book is like. It's amazing and so full of life and makes me just think of things differently:

"I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift." [SHAUNA NIEQUIST]

THIS is what I want.

Help

This is not what I asked for in my life.
I'm trying to make things better, and things are just getting worse.
I'm stuck.
And i need help.
But i have NO ONE.
I have never felt so betrayed or felt so much resentment towards people in my life.
Stop judging me and the choices I make, and just be my friend.
And love me regardless.
This is the point where I have nothing and I need to turn to God.
But I don't like giving up control of my life.
Feeling like this can't be what God had planned for me.
I refuse to let it be.
This is Hell on Earth.
Help.