Check out my new blog that i've just started about the planning for my year-long mission trip to India!
My Journey to India!!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
wow
How Great Is Our God?
I am just overwhelmed with the joy and healing that God has performed in my life just tonight!
As I sit here in my chilled room with a blanket wrapped around me, Chris Tomlin's Hello Love CD playing softly in the background, I can't help but be almost speechless at the Faithfulness of my Lord.
Proverbs 3:5-7
and he will make your paths straight.
Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart. This is something that I haven't been doing recently, and struggle with daily.
It's so easy for me to become the control-freak in my relationship with God and try to make everything go the way I want it, and my mentality becomes such that if it doesn't turn out that way, then I've failed. Do you ever feel that?
Last Sunday, Rod preached on this along with some other things that completely convicted me and made me take a step back and look at my life and the way I had been living.
Often times, I get so caught up in what MY plan for my life is, and if that doesn't work out, I have a plan B, C, D etc. to fall back on.
If only I had the constant realization that, like Rod said, if I stick to God's plan, I will always be on plan A.
After being in a very dark place the past few days, I finally fell to my knees crying out to God to come and pick me up again, because everything I was doing in my life, was selfish and worldly and was bringing me to experience this despair and turmoil which took months to overcome in the past.
He heard my cry.
Today, or should I say tonight, is the first night I felt that darkness lifted off of me, and I felt so light, like the chains of my own pride and selfishness had been broken. I was able to experience that Holy Spirit laughter that comes from deep down in your soul.
Not only that, but at Love Feast tonight, I was completely blown away by the presence of God in that large room, and after hearing story after story of how God was working in SO many people's lives, I could see some friends radiating God; friends who I had been praying for for a long time that they would experience God's love and faithfulness and His promise to be by our side and to heal the deepest, and most broken parts of ourselves.
It's unbelievable when you look back at the times in your life that you tried to make things go your way, and compare it to the time that you decided to let God take hold of your life. What an incredible difference, right? If we can see His goodness and feel His spirit within us, bringing us a happiness no one else would be able to, why is it so hard to just let Him do that all the time and make Him #1?
If I hadn't just let go and let God, who knows where I would be right now? I wouldn't be going to India, that's for sure. I would still be waking up everyday, living the mundane, repetitive life that I've become so discontent with.
The time for me to leave is coming up soon. It just feels like yesterday that I decided that this is what I needed to do with the next year of my life, when it was really almost 4 months ago.
It's really hard for me to leave so much here and then have no idea what coming back in year is going to be like for me. Although I tend to over-think things, and start to worry, God made it ever so clear to me tonight that this is exactly what He has planned for me for the time being.
I have dreams about India almost every night. I see myself running around and just falling head-over-heels in love with the kids over there.
Who ever thought that giving up everything you once deemed to be the most important in your life, would give you a feeling of fulfillment that no amount of money ever could?
I am so excited to live a simple life, with only the love of God and love of others around me being my comfort while I am so far away from everything close and familiar to me.
He has blessed me in more ways than I could ever imagine, and I am so undeserving, yet so grateful.
I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here
Blessings and Love to you all.
I am just overwhelmed with the joy and healing that God has performed in my life just tonight!
As I sit here in my chilled room with a blanket wrapped around me, Chris Tomlin's Hello Love CD playing softly in the background, I can't help but be almost speechless at the Faithfulness of my Lord.
Proverbs 3:5-7
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
and he will make your paths straight.
Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart. This is something that I haven't been doing recently, and struggle with daily.
It's so easy for me to become the control-freak in my relationship with God and try to make everything go the way I want it, and my mentality becomes such that if it doesn't turn out that way, then I've failed. Do you ever feel that?
Last Sunday, Rod preached on this along with some other things that completely convicted me and made me take a step back and look at my life and the way I had been living.
Often times, I get so caught up in what MY plan for my life is, and if that doesn't work out, I have a plan B, C, D etc. to fall back on.
If only I had the constant realization that, like Rod said, if I stick to God's plan, I will always be on plan A.
After being in a very dark place the past few days, I finally fell to my knees crying out to God to come and pick me up again, because everything I was doing in my life, was selfish and worldly and was bringing me to experience this despair and turmoil which took months to overcome in the past.
He heard my cry.
Today, or should I say tonight, is the first night I felt that darkness lifted off of me, and I felt so light, like the chains of my own pride and selfishness had been broken. I was able to experience that Holy Spirit laughter that comes from deep down in your soul.
Not only that, but at Love Feast tonight, I was completely blown away by the presence of God in that large room, and after hearing story after story of how God was working in SO many people's lives, I could see some friends radiating God; friends who I had been praying for for a long time that they would experience God's love and faithfulness and His promise to be by our side and to heal the deepest, and most broken parts of ourselves.
It's unbelievable when you look back at the times in your life that you tried to make things go your way, and compare it to the time that you decided to let God take hold of your life. What an incredible difference, right? If we can see His goodness and feel His spirit within us, bringing us a happiness no one else would be able to, why is it so hard to just let Him do that all the time and make Him #1?
If I hadn't just let go and let God, who knows where I would be right now? I wouldn't be going to India, that's for sure. I would still be waking up everyday, living the mundane, repetitive life that I've become so discontent with.
The time for me to leave is coming up soon. It just feels like yesterday that I decided that this is what I needed to do with the next year of my life, when it was really almost 4 months ago.
It's really hard for me to leave so much here and then have no idea what coming back in year is going to be like for me. Although I tend to over-think things, and start to worry, God made it ever so clear to me tonight that this is exactly what He has planned for me for the time being.
I have dreams about India almost every night. I see myself running around and just falling head-over-heels in love with the kids over there.
Who ever thought that giving up everything you once deemed to be the most important in your life, would give you a feeling of fulfillment that no amount of money ever could?
I am so excited to live a simple life, with only the love of God and love of others around me being my comfort while I am so far away from everything close and familiar to me.
He has blessed me in more ways than I could ever imagine, and I am so undeserving, yet so grateful.
I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here
Blessings and Love to you all.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Apology
I've been sitting here for the last 2 hours trying to think about what to write in my paper for my Lib class tomorrow. I am clearly getting way too distracted, so I suppose all I can do is try to get out what I think is hindering me from accomplishing this.
I am stressed out. About everything.
I can feel myself falling backwards to a place that used to be so familiar to me; a place I promised myself I would never go back to. It was a time when I was so insecure with myself and lived a completely selfish life, and ultimately, ended up extremely unhappy and constantly anxious.
As most everyone knows, I'm planning on going to India for a year.
This is probably the biggest thing I've ever done in my life; meaning that more-so now than ever, I really need to trust in God that things are going to work out, and that He is going to be there to guide me through the entire journey.
But I'm not.
I've gotten so caught up in the planning aspect of it, that I haven't prayed about it at all, I haven't just let Him take hold of the reigns so this goes where He wants it to. I've become selfish in thinking that the only thing I need to go is money..when really, going to a completely different world will need SO much more than just that.
God will provide. That's what everyone tells me...and it's what I tell everyone else as well. But do I even believe what I'm saying? I think if I did, I wouldn't be experiencing the stress and anxiety that I am.
I've lost my focus so much from where I was a couple months ago. I'm letting every worldly thing distract me from where my main focus is supposed to be. I used to live, breathe, eat, sleep God.
Now I feel like I've just let go once again and have almost taken Him for granted.
Listening to Rod at church yesterday just hit me hard and deep. I am absolutely not the person I am at church when I'm at work..or when I'm with my friends. I'm almost a completely different person depending on the situations. I am extremely ashamed of this. Would strangers who just passed by, know that I'm a Christian based on how I act and treat others no matter where I am? I don't think so.
I know that this is something I need to lay down before God every single day before I do anything. Much easier said than done though, isn't it?
I just feel like this dark overwhelming shadow has come over me...and that joy that I felt is slowly fading away...and I'm not bouncing around feeling like a confident woman of God. I've lost the Holy Spirit laughter, that Emily F and I so often refer back to during our time of major transformation, the night in the prayer room while we were singing, dancing and praising God with everything in us.
I need to take a step back...
A step back from friends, from constantly being out doing things, from other people who are distracting me...and I need to breathe. And spend some time one-on-one with God. Jesus Dates as Brooke likes to call them.
Although I know I have fallen, I have seen and experienced God work so much in the most awesome ways that I know He is still waiting for me to run back to Him.
I guess this is just my declaration and my apology to those who have witnessed my fall, and even to those who haven't...I'm so sorry that the example I let off is most likely not one of someone who so desires to love the Lord with everything they have.
Whole-heartedly, I will seek Him.
1 I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me.
You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.
2 O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you restored my health.
3 You brought me up from the grave,[a] O Lord.
You kept me from falling into the pit of death.
4 Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones!
Praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
6 When I was prosperous, I said,
“Nothing can stop me now!”
7 Your favor, O Lord, made me as secure as a mountain.
Then you turned away from me, and I was shattered.
8 I cried out to you, O Lord.
I begged the Lord for mercy, saying,
9 “What will you gain if I die,
if I sink into the grave?
Can my dust praise you?
Can it tell of your faithfulness?
10 Hear me, Lord, and have mercy on me.
Help me, O Lord.”
11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
12 that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!
I am stressed out. About everything.
I can feel myself falling backwards to a place that used to be so familiar to me; a place I promised myself I would never go back to. It was a time when I was so insecure with myself and lived a completely selfish life, and ultimately, ended up extremely unhappy and constantly anxious.
As most everyone knows, I'm planning on going to India for a year.
This is probably the biggest thing I've ever done in my life; meaning that more-so now than ever, I really need to trust in God that things are going to work out, and that He is going to be there to guide me through the entire journey.
But I'm not.
I've gotten so caught up in the planning aspect of it, that I haven't prayed about it at all, I haven't just let Him take hold of the reigns so this goes where He wants it to. I've become selfish in thinking that the only thing I need to go is money..when really, going to a completely different world will need SO much more than just that.
God will provide. That's what everyone tells me...and it's what I tell everyone else as well. But do I even believe what I'm saying? I think if I did, I wouldn't be experiencing the stress and anxiety that I am.
I've lost my focus so much from where I was a couple months ago. I'm letting every worldly thing distract me from where my main focus is supposed to be. I used to live, breathe, eat, sleep God.
Now I feel like I've just let go once again and have almost taken Him for granted.
Listening to Rod at church yesterday just hit me hard and deep. I am absolutely not the person I am at church when I'm at work..or when I'm with my friends. I'm almost a completely different person depending on the situations. I am extremely ashamed of this. Would strangers who just passed by, know that I'm a Christian based on how I act and treat others no matter where I am? I don't think so.
I know that this is something I need to lay down before God every single day before I do anything. Much easier said than done though, isn't it?
I just feel like this dark overwhelming shadow has come over me...and that joy that I felt is slowly fading away...and I'm not bouncing around feeling like a confident woman of God. I've lost the Holy Spirit laughter, that Emily F and I so often refer back to during our time of major transformation, the night in the prayer room while we were singing, dancing and praising God with everything in us.
I need to take a step back...
A step back from friends, from constantly being out doing things, from other people who are distracting me...and I need to breathe. And spend some time one-on-one with God. Jesus Dates as Brooke likes to call them.
Although I know I have fallen, I have seen and experienced God work so much in the most awesome ways that I know He is still waiting for me to run back to Him.
I guess this is just my declaration and my apology to those who have witnessed my fall, and even to those who haven't...I'm so sorry that the example I let off is most likely not one of someone who so desires to love the Lord with everything they have.
Whole-heartedly, I will seek Him.
1 I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me.
You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.
2 O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you restored my health.
3 You brought me up from the grave,[a] O Lord.
You kept me from falling into the pit of death.
4 Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones!
Praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
6 When I was prosperous, I said,
“Nothing can stop me now!”
7 Your favor, O Lord, made me as secure as a mountain.
Then you turned away from me, and I was shattered.
8 I cried out to you, O Lord.
I begged the Lord for mercy, saying,
9 “What will you gain if I die,
if I sink into the grave?
Can my dust praise you?
Can it tell of your faithfulness?
10 Hear me, Lord, and have mercy on me.
Help me, O Lord.”
11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
12 that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!
Friday, December 19, 2008
India!!!!
I know most of you have either heard me talk about it, read my status on facebook, or maybe you heard Tony say something about it at Crossroads.
I have decided to go over to India for one year to work with the organization, Open Arms for Asia.I don't have a specific date yet, but I will be going as soon as I raise all of the money I need. I'm thinking probably April or May-unless I decided to go to school next semester, then it will probably be May or June.
I have started working on my support letter to send out to family/friends, and will be soon looking into getting a passport, and vaccinations that I'll be needing.
Thinking about leaving all of my friends and my family here, and going over there to this completely different world, is a terrifying thing. Knowing that when I come back, I won't know where I'll be living, where I'll have a job, or where everyone I leave will be in their lives, is quite unsettling.However, the only thing I'm 100% sure about is that God is calling me to do this. And as long as I follow that call, everything else will fall into place, and I will return with a new, clear, perspective on life, hopefully having a passion and hunger for God like I've heard the kids over there have; a much bigger longing for God than I have probably ever experienced.
I want to come back and have others just feel God pouring out of me. I ask that you pray for me over the next few months, along with others who are considering going over there for a more short-term mission trip; for peace, clarity, and that God will provide all that I/we need so that I/we may be fully ready to venture over into the next part of my/our life.
If you want to know more, feel free to ask! I've pretty much been sleeping, eating, and breathing India for the last couple of weeks and would love nothing more than to sit down and talk about it with you. Thanks and God Bless.xo
**THIS IS NO WHERE NEAR THE DETAILED DESCRIPTION OF HOW I GOT TO THIS POINT AND/OR HOW I THINK MY LIFE IS GOING TO BE CHANGED. JUST A QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT TO START GETTING THE PRAYERS FLOWING. :) THERE WILL BE MUCH MORE TO COME!**
I have decided to go over to India for one year to work with the organization, Open Arms for Asia.I don't have a specific date yet, but I will be going as soon as I raise all of the money I need. I'm thinking probably April or May-unless I decided to go to school next semester, then it will probably be May or June.
I have started working on my support letter to send out to family/friends, and will be soon looking into getting a passport, and vaccinations that I'll be needing.
Thinking about leaving all of my friends and my family here, and going over there to this completely different world, is a terrifying thing. Knowing that when I come back, I won't know where I'll be living, where I'll have a job, or where everyone I leave will be in their lives, is quite unsettling.However, the only thing I'm 100% sure about is that God is calling me to do this. And as long as I follow that call, everything else will fall into place, and I will return with a new, clear, perspective on life, hopefully having a passion and hunger for God like I've heard the kids over there have; a much bigger longing for God than I have probably ever experienced.
I want to come back and have others just feel God pouring out of me. I ask that you pray for me over the next few months, along with others who are considering going over there for a more short-term mission trip; for peace, clarity, and that God will provide all that I/we need so that I/we may be fully ready to venture over into the next part of my/our life.
If you want to know more, feel free to ask! I've pretty much been sleeping, eating, and breathing India for the last couple of weeks and would love nothing more than to sit down and talk about it with you. Thanks and God Bless.xo
**THIS IS NO WHERE NEAR THE DETAILED DESCRIPTION OF HOW I GOT TO THIS POINT AND/OR HOW I THINK MY LIFE IS GOING TO BE CHANGED. JUST A QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT TO START GETTING THE PRAYERS FLOWING. :) THERE WILL BE MUCH MORE TO COME!**
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Such is life.
God answered my call when i asked Him what I was supposed to be doing with my life...at least for now.
Although there's a long road of hard work ahead to get there, I can't wait to be giving up almost everything I have material-wise and going to a place where i have next to nothing, but yet will be gaining more than i could ever imagine by surrounding myself with the people and other disciples who love God and long for Him more than I can even fathom.
It's funny how once you decide to do what God wants instead of what you want, everything comes together..and you're presented with opportunities you would never usually think of on your own.
This is terrifying. I can't wait.
more details to come later.
Although there's a long road of hard work ahead to get there, I can't wait to be giving up almost everything I have material-wise and going to a place where i have next to nothing, but yet will be gaining more than i could ever imagine by surrounding myself with the people and other disciples who love God and long for Him more than I can even fathom.
It's funny how once you decide to do what God wants instead of what you want, everything comes together..and you're presented with opportunities you would never usually think of on your own.
This is terrifying. I can't wait.
more details to come later.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Things i've realized about myself and my life.
Last night, I was able to go to coffee with an amazing friend, and sister.
I realized a few things during that time and during the past couple of weeks:
1) I need time to myself. I need some nights where I don't hang out w/anyone, just to rest, read, go to bed early, and clear my head.
2) I care so much about what others think of me. I have problems saying "no" to people when they want me to do something because I feel like they won't like me as much or will get mad if i do. This being said, I need to fear God's perception of me. Not the peoples around me. If I give into sometihng because I feel guilty, I know I'm going to feel worse in the end, so that is something I need to work on (thanks Brooke, for pointing this out for me). If I spent as much time caring about what God was thinking about me, as I do caring about what others think about me, how would that alter my life?
3) I want to get back to the point where I want God, and ONLY God in my life, meaning I want to stop thinking that I need all these earthly and material possessions. I want to wake up, and go to bed thinking about God and how I honored him or could honor Him more, and all the time in between. I want to hunger for Him, and be desperate for Him to consume me.
4) I signed up for 12 hours in the prayer room this past 24/7 prayer week. I went to probably 2 of those hours and didn't get anything out of them because my heart wasn't in it. I just ended up talking to people or zoning our completely instead of getting on my face, asking God to fulfill me once again. I no longer will make excuses or find more "important" things to be doing.
5) I need, as Brooke calls them, "Jesus dates." At least once a week, I need to devote a certain amount of tmie to spending some extremely intimate, one-on-one time with Jesus. I want to be able to immerse myself in His word and spend time having deep conversations with Him.
6) Change can sometimes be good. I need to remember that and hold onto that when I'm afraid of something different happening than i'm used to.
7) Having a hard time deciphering if I should do what God is calling me to do, as opposed to losing some small, insignificant parts of my life, is a foolish thought, and I am ashamed that I would even consider choosing worldly things over God's plan for me.
8) I'm going to fast again starting next Sunday.
9) I want to play the piano more.
10) God has brought me to a spot where He is the center of my life. I used to think I only needed others who were "ahead" of me on their journey with God, making them the only ones I sought after, leaning on them completely and only using their guidance as the way for me to get through rough times. I didn't lose them. I still have them fully there as a support, as they are forever going to be my brothers and sisters. But now I am able to truly see where the healing begins through God (thank you, Brooke, for helping me see this).
11) I LOVE coffee and coffee "dates."
12) All of the good and bad that I've experienced have been the hugest blessings to me by bringing me to the point in life that I'm at now. Although this is a great thing, I do not want to, and will not live in the past.
13) I want to become an artist of some sort (random thought, I know...but it makes sense to me).
14) Family is an amazing thing. I need to embrace it with all I have. This is not just family that I'm born into, but the families I have become part of by gaining others, whom I love, in my life.
I'm sure there's more, but that's all I could come up with for now, while I'm waiting for 5pm to come around...
Feel free to leave some feedback.
xo
I realized a few things during that time and during the past couple of weeks:
1) I need time to myself. I need some nights where I don't hang out w/anyone, just to rest, read, go to bed early, and clear my head.
2) I care so much about what others think of me. I have problems saying "no" to people when they want me to do something because I feel like they won't like me as much or will get mad if i do. This being said, I need to fear God's perception of me. Not the peoples around me. If I give into sometihng because I feel guilty, I know I'm going to feel worse in the end, so that is something I need to work on (thanks Brooke, for pointing this out for me). If I spent as much time caring about what God was thinking about me, as I do caring about what others think about me, how would that alter my life?
3) I want to get back to the point where I want God, and ONLY God in my life, meaning I want to stop thinking that I need all these earthly and material possessions. I want to wake up, and go to bed thinking about God and how I honored him or could honor Him more, and all the time in between. I want to hunger for Him, and be desperate for Him to consume me.
4) I signed up for 12 hours in the prayer room this past 24/7 prayer week. I went to probably 2 of those hours and didn't get anything out of them because my heart wasn't in it. I just ended up talking to people or zoning our completely instead of getting on my face, asking God to fulfill me once again. I no longer will make excuses or find more "important" things to be doing.
5) I need, as Brooke calls them, "Jesus dates." At least once a week, I need to devote a certain amount of tmie to spending some extremely intimate, one-on-one time with Jesus. I want to be able to immerse myself in His word and spend time having deep conversations with Him.
6) Change can sometimes be good. I need to remember that and hold onto that when I'm afraid of something different happening than i'm used to.
7) Having a hard time deciphering if I should do what God is calling me to do, as opposed to losing some small, insignificant parts of my life, is a foolish thought, and I am ashamed that I would even consider choosing worldly things over God's plan for me.
8) I'm going to fast again starting next Sunday.
9) I want to play the piano more.
10) God has brought me to a spot where He is the center of my life. I used to think I only needed others who were "ahead" of me on their journey with God, making them the only ones I sought after, leaning on them completely and only using their guidance as the way for me to get through rough times. I didn't lose them. I still have them fully there as a support, as they are forever going to be my brothers and sisters. But now I am able to truly see where the healing begins through God (thank you, Brooke, for helping me see this).
11) I LOVE coffee and coffee "dates."
12) All of the good and bad that I've experienced have been the hugest blessings to me by bringing me to the point in life that I'm at now. Although this is a great thing, I do not want to, and will not live in the past.
13) I want to become an artist of some sort (random thought, I know...but it makes sense to me).
14) Family is an amazing thing. I need to embrace it with all I have. This is not just family that I'm born into, but the families I have become part of by gaining others, whom I love, in my life.
I'm sure there's more, but that's all I could come up with for now, while I'm waiting for 5pm to come around...
Feel free to leave some feedback.
xo
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Election Day
I've been sitting at my computer for the past hour, putting off going down to the polls to vote.
I know I probably should soon since if I wait much longer, I'll be in line for 2 hours or so.
But for some reason, as excited as I am for there to be a new President, I'm terrified.
Last election, I didn't get it. I wasn't nervous about who I would vote for, nor did I think that my vote really mattered.
Let me tell you, I have never been so stressed out when it came to a political election. This is huge, I know. I feel anxious and confused and nervous! I don't want to make the wrong decision.
What if I said that I thought both candidates weren't ready and that I didn't really want either of them to be President? Would that be wrong?
To be honest, I'm usually straight republican. If I hadn't paid attention at all, I would probably just go and vote for McCain without thinking. But because of the age I am, and with the way the U.S. has been the past few years, there needs to be a change. Apparently that's Obama's slogan. It's time for change. I agree. Our country needs help and healing.
I don't agree with Obama's stance on abortion. Not in any way. But on the other hand, I'm not sure that there would be much of a difference in our country if McCain won, and that would be awful.
Apparently both candidates are Christian. Obama was not born a Christian but found God in his 20's. McCain is a Christian too. Obama is great at speaking...so great that I'm afraid he knows how to say what we all want to hear, but would he follow thru with it? But what if I vote for McCain and not take the chance on Obama but nothing changes for us?
Can you see why I'm struggling? I'm not going to let one issue (like abortion) be the deciding factor for my decision, but it does stay in the back of my mind. A friend sent me a document with direct quotes on Obama's view of Faith and God and how that plays a role in how our country is going to be run. But if he thinks that's so important, why would he say it's ok to abort a baby up to 6 months after conception and then kill it if it survived the abortion? That's NOT what God intended for His children.
My head and my heart are heavy. Maybe my one vote won't matter, but this is a big thing for me.
It's 2:20pm right now, and I still don't know who I'm voting for.
I've talked to my mom a couple times and she just kept reminding me that no matter who I vote for, or who our new President will be, we will be answering to a Higher Power. No matter who wins this election, I think it is so important to pray for our future President, whether we voted for them or not.
God has the ultimate power, and is the ultimate decision maker, so why not trust that He knows what/who is right for our country.
I am convinced that if we can all pray for our country's leader(s), then God is going to lead them into doing what's right for us.
I won't be telling many people who I'm voting for, because it doesn't really matter.
Most people have voted by now, but I would just encourage you all to pray hard before voting, and trust in God's power over all of us, including the President.
I know I probably should soon since if I wait much longer, I'll be in line for 2 hours or so.
But for some reason, as excited as I am for there to be a new President, I'm terrified.
Last election, I didn't get it. I wasn't nervous about who I would vote for, nor did I think that my vote really mattered.
Let me tell you, I have never been so stressed out when it came to a political election. This is huge, I know. I feel anxious and confused and nervous! I don't want to make the wrong decision.
What if I said that I thought both candidates weren't ready and that I didn't really want either of them to be President? Would that be wrong?
To be honest, I'm usually straight republican. If I hadn't paid attention at all, I would probably just go and vote for McCain without thinking. But because of the age I am, and with the way the U.S. has been the past few years, there needs to be a change. Apparently that's Obama's slogan. It's time for change. I agree. Our country needs help and healing.
I don't agree with Obama's stance on abortion. Not in any way. But on the other hand, I'm not sure that there would be much of a difference in our country if McCain won, and that would be awful.
Apparently both candidates are Christian. Obama was not born a Christian but found God in his 20's. McCain is a Christian too. Obama is great at speaking...so great that I'm afraid he knows how to say what we all want to hear, but would he follow thru with it? But what if I vote for McCain and not take the chance on Obama but nothing changes for us?
Can you see why I'm struggling? I'm not going to let one issue (like abortion) be the deciding factor for my decision, but it does stay in the back of my mind. A friend sent me a document with direct quotes on Obama's view of Faith and God and how that plays a role in how our country is going to be run. But if he thinks that's so important, why would he say it's ok to abort a baby up to 6 months after conception and then kill it if it survived the abortion? That's NOT what God intended for His children.
My head and my heart are heavy. Maybe my one vote won't matter, but this is a big thing for me.
It's 2:20pm right now, and I still don't know who I'm voting for.
I've talked to my mom a couple times and she just kept reminding me that no matter who I vote for, or who our new President will be, we will be answering to a Higher Power. No matter who wins this election, I think it is so important to pray for our future President, whether we voted for them or not.
God has the ultimate power, and is the ultimate decision maker, so why not trust that He knows what/who is right for our country.
I am convinced that if we can all pray for our country's leader(s), then God is going to lead them into doing what's right for us.
I won't be telling many people who I'm voting for, because it doesn't really matter.
Most people have voted by now, but I would just encourage you all to pray hard before voting, and trust in God's power over all of us, including the President.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Hmm...where do I start?
I'm not sure if there are even any words to describe what my life has been like the past couple of weeks.
Joyful, upsetting, anxious, content, busy...ahhh.
I'm stressed about this election. I don't think either candidates are ready. But I agree and disagree with issues from both sides...so i'm kinda stuck. And I was thinking I was voting next week..not TOMORROW.
I have to go find some answers. I'll be back to write more later.
I'm not sure if there are even any words to describe what my life has been like the past couple of weeks.
Joyful, upsetting, anxious, content, busy...ahhh.
I'm stressed about this election. I don't think either candidates are ready. But I agree and disagree with issues from both sides...so i'm kinda stuck. And I was thinking I was voting next week..not TOMORROW.
I have to go find some answers. I'll be back to write more later.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Praise Him
I wasn't able to go to IHOP this weekend with Dana and Tammy.
It's ok though. I just figured it was God's way of saying there was something else I should do this weekend. Maybe nothing profound, but I'm sure I'll find enjoyment out of whatever I do.
I don't have anything spectacular to say today.
I'm exhausted and am getting over being sick, but still am in love with the days that are set out in front of me.
Leaves are EVERYWHERE. I just want to jump in them.
Tomorrow I think a nice breakfast somewhere and maybe the Fulton St. Farmer's Market and some housecleaning sounds good.
I've gotten to a new point in my life; a point I never thought I would be able to get to again. But I have.
I can't go into specifics. I've talked to a couple people about it, but I'm just still so amazed at the power of God working in me to make me whole again.
Praise Him.
Love to you all.
It's ok though. I just figured it was God's way of saying there was something else I should do this weekend. Maybe nothing profound, but I'm sure I'll find enjoyment out of whatever I do.
I don't have anything spectacular to say today.
I'm exhausted and am getting over being sick, but still am in love with the days that are set out in front of me.
Leaves are EVERYWHERE. I just want to jump in them.
Tomorrow I think a nice breakfast somewhere and maybe the Fulton St. Farmer's Market and some housecleaning sounds good.
I've gotten to a new point in my life; a point I never thought I would be able to get to again. But I have.
I can't go into specifics. I've talked to a couple people about it, but I'm just still so amazed at the power of God working in me to make me whole again.
Praise Him.
Love to you all.
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